


In Ashes

by Azuremosquito



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Body Horror, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Dragon Age Quest: All That Remains, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 11:47:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4959490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuremosquito/pseuds/Azuremosquito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrett struggles to wrap his mind around what Quentin has done to Leandra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Ashes

Voices drifted in and out of Garrett’s awareness, some frantic, some angry, others frightened. He knew he should recognize them, that he should care, but lassitude sucked at him like a mire. His arms felt leaden, he couldn’t move if he wanted to.

“Get her out of here!”

Dimly, he knew that voice. It was precious to him, more precious than the others. It sparked the faintest interest before that too faded. It wasn’t worth the energy.

It was only when they tried to move his burden that animation returned to him. He clung to it possessively, a feral rictus curling his lips. They would not have her. She was all he had left.

“Hawke, listen to me. Let go.” The voice returned and a face swam into his hazy vision. A long face, worn with troubles and sorrow. It had been handsome once; almost too handsome, really. It was still handsome, in its own way, but it had been forever etched with more grief than any one man should have to bear.

Garrett realized his mind was wandering. He couldn’t stop it. He knew that face, he knew that voice. He couldn’t put a name to it. He couldn’t obey its request. He continued to cling desperately to the heavy object in his arms.

“What’s wrong with him?” a scared voice whispered from behind him.

“He’s in shock, Merrill,” the voice spoke again, the long face never leaving his line of sight. Warm, compassionate eyes, the color of golden honey stayed locked on his. “Garrett, love. I’m here with you. You’re not alone.”

Garrett shook his head, clutching his burden and rocking slowly back and forth. Reluctantly, he tore his gaze away from the comforting, familiar figure in front of him and squeezed his eyes shut. “No,” he rasped, curling in on himself. “Leave me alone.”

“Hawke, I’m not leaving you,” Anders said firmly.  _Anders_. That was his name. The one precious to him. He was not alone. He still had Anders…

No.

He tried to block out the voices. There were others there. He heard them shuffling around uncomfortably.

“What do we do,  _mage_?” a low, gravelly voice demanded, a slight glowing figure appearing behind Anders’ shoulder. Garrett sensed the dim glow even through his closed lids. “We need to get out of here.”

“Just give me a moment,” Anders said tightly. “Garrett,” the healer said again, in an entirely different tone of voice. A gentle hand rested on Hawke’s shoulder and the man twitched away from it.  _No_. They couldn’t have her.

“No.”

“Garrett,” Anders said again. “Garrett, look at me.” Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and looked at his lover. “Just breathe, okay? We’re here with you. I’m here with you.”

A whimper worked its way up Garrett’s throat and Anders’ brows knit together, grief clouding his face. “I know, love. I’m so sorry,” the mage said gently, and this time Garrett didn’t pull away from his touch. “You have to let go…”

Garrett finally looked down at what he held in his arms and grief threatened to choke him anew. His mother almost appeared to be resting, if not for the macabre stitching at her neck and wrists. Bile rose in his throat and he shuddered. “Mother…” he croaked, unable even to cry.

“Garrett, we have to get out of here,” Anders spoke in a low, patient tone.

“I’m not leaving her here,” Garrett growled, fury rising in his chest.

“I know, love. We won’t. She’s not trapped any longer. We’ll commend her spirit to the Maker, I promise. But we have to get out of here.

The glowing elf stepped forward suddenly.  _Fenris_. “I will… carry her, if you wish it.” He dipped his head, uncomfortable with the emotions filling the space.

“No.” Garrett’s voice sounded hollow in his own ears. “I’ll carry her…”

Swallowing hard, he gathered the remains of his mother and rose shakily to his feet. Anders was at his side in an instant, ready to offer support, physical or otherwise. Eager to be out of this blood mage’s den, Fenris marched ahead, massive sword drawn should any more demons arise. After shooting Hawke a sorrowful glance and receiving a headshake from Anders, Merrill slowly moved off to join her fellow elf, leaving the two lovers to follow after with their sad burden.

Garrett didn’t speak as they made their way back up to the streets and none of his companions tried to engage him, though Anders remained ever present at his side. When they reached the surface, they were met by a worried Aveline.

“Hawke! Did you-” The redhead choked off her words as her eyes fell on the still figure in Garrett’s arms. “Oh, no… Maker, Leandra…”

Garrett strode past his friend without even seeing her. He would take Mother home. Lay her to rest in her room. She would like that…

Numb and uncertain what to do, his companions fell in beside him, Fenris continuing to lead the way. It was late and the streets were mostly empty, save Aveline’s guards, and they were quickly warned off at a stern glare from their Captain.

At the Hawke estate, Aveline chose to remain outside and stand her own guard at the entryway. None would disturb Garrett’s grief tonight. The others went inside with him.

“Messere, the mistress has still not return-” Bodhan cut off abruptly, eyes bulging out of his head as Garrett strode silently past him. The elves ushered the dwarf away, doing their best to answer his whispered questions as the humans made for the stairs.

Garrett’s back and legs ached from carrying his mother’s body all the way from Darktown but he refused to let anyone help. He had failed her. He could do this last thing for her.

Anders moved past Garrett at the landing and opened the door to Leandra’s room. The mage remained silent, but his eyes were fixed on the rogue, a healer taking stock of his patient’s condition as well as a concerned lover looking to see if his support were needed. Still silent, Hawke stepped into the room and laid his mother out on the bed with infinite tenderness, carefully arranging her limbs so that she appeared to be resting. Angrily, he tore the veil from her head and sank to his knees beside the bed, clasping her hand as he finally let his grief take over.

————-

Many hours later, Anders found Garrett seated on the edge of his bed, staring blankly at the wall. He’d had the presence of mind to change out of his bloodstained armor but his brain had ceased to function past that point and he sat unclothed, scrubbing absently at his hands.

“Garrett?” Anders said gently, stepping into the room they had shared for the last few months. He was uncertain if Garrett would welcome his presence, or if he would be asked to leave.

At the sound of the mage’s voice, Garrett lifted his head, staring vacantly at Anders. He blinked once, no recognition in his dull eyes. Anders swallowed and stepped closer.

“I know nothing I say will change it. I’m just… I’m sorry.” Garrett said nothing, his eyes dropping back to his hands. “You were lucky to have her as long as you did. When the pain fades, that’s what will matter.”

Silence stretched between them and Anders wondered if Hawke would respond, or if the man had even heard him. Finally, Garrett sighed and glanced toward the mage. “I appreciate it, Anders.”

Taking that as a promising sign, Anders sat down beside Garrett and reached over to clasp his lover’s hand, both to stop him from the ineffective drywashing as well as offer comfort. “I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

Garrett said nothing, but after a moment, he pulled his legs up onto the bed and curled up against Anders’ side, burying his face in the feathers. Feeling helpless, Anders did the only thing he could do; he wrapped his arms around his lover and stroked the man’s back soothingly, prepared to hold him for as long as needed.


End file.
